Let's Kimchi - Sashimi Discussion! ...Round 2!!

I'm really enjoying this crazy-off. I hope you are too.

After all, I never could have imagined that anyone or anything would simultaneously steal the crown for freshness from the fish that was still breathing


(note: I'll order this again and get some video of it breathing...)

AND

steal the freaky freaky food pennant from the raw cod semen.



But, the Koreans did it with Nakji:



So, what other important categories can we compare?

How about best modern transportation/ancient shrine juxtaposition?

Japan...




Korea...



Perception of Westerners:

Japan: We Drink A Lot


Korea: We Drink A Lot




And what comparison would be complete without addressing Karaoke!?!? A staple for business and pleasure across Asia, no function is complete without horrifying pop culture destruction of timeless classics!

The Japanese have gone for the .... personal route.


On the other hand, the Koreans seem to think that having 90 people listen while an anonymous blogger butchers "Copa Cabana" is a good idea. (Seriously, I got talked into opening up the party in front of our CEO, and it went... poorly. All later redemption that came with a stand up five man "Uptown Girl" paled in comparison with my earlier suckage).



Of course, the K-folk had to make the requisite attempts at unintentional penis referencing...


Good effort!

In fact... the K-folk did VERY well by making a whole festival out of it!




But Let's Honesty! for a moment. Unintentionally challenging the Japanese to an "Unintentional Penis Referencing" contest is like challenging them to a rush hour train-packing contest.



You're going down in defeat, you're getting groped and there's not a bloody thing you can do about it. This contest was over before it even began. Japan wrote the book on penis festivals, then jerked off to the centerfold with a six foot foam penis.









Now, to be fair, I have to concede that Japan has a huge edge here. After all, I had a scant three days in Korea, compared to more than a year in Japan so far.

Then again, no matter how long I spent in Korea, I think I'd be hard pressed to find stuff as insane as this:



or find a chance to dress up like this:




Still.... I gotta give the makers of Kim Chi credit.

Korea is an amazing place.





And just strange enough to keep me happy.






They even share something called "Wa", which I have great capacity to disturb.



To be honest, I felt that my time there went by far to quickly.



Both Japan and Korea are crazy, interesting, and well worth the trip.


Hmm... what does this post need now? um.... AH! Cue Melodramatic music....

I highly recommend a vacation (or more) somewhere in the world that isn't at all like your home. Our world is a crazy place, and I firmly believe it will do anyone good to see more of it. It's amazing, different, and eye opening. There's something for everyone, and a place for everyone to be king.




So if you travel, keep a smile on your face for everyone. After all, there's something super in all of us.





...


Ah, shit. Let's have one more classic from the kawasaki cock fest.

Hot Kim-Chi on Sashimi Action: Korea/Japan Comparasizing! #1

I think Japan has radically altered my definition of "insanity". As I wandered the streets of Seoul a few weeks ago, I found myself thinking things like:

"Wow, there must be a thousand people on this street... back in Canada, that would be crazy"


But, then again, for the past year, I have been living in the land of this guy:


(more on him soon. he's a damn genius)


So, how on earth can I compare these two glorious cities. There are so many simmilarities. For example, eating food based on tentacles is highly appropriate, AND highly delicious!

Korea:



Japan:


In Japan, they also come in bite size portions!




I threw out the "Snake Ice Cream" from Japan a little while ago, and some time ago there was....







But what of the Koreans?


Welll....




They would have won hands down if not for that pesky comma.

Ah... but a side by side comparison? I wouldn't dare...



Oh, come on. You read the post title. You know where this is going. Don't worry though... we're only going to compare important shit.

Like Best use of "Presso" in a grammatically disturbing ad campaign!


From Korea we have...





And Japan brings the ever faithful...



Hmmm.... I'm going to leave this up to a vote.

I vote... Japan!


Both Cities have their little tidbits of insanity. For example, both have selected extremely crazy places to house Starbucks coffee shops.

The Koreans elected for a shrine.


While the Japanese just decided to add 23890328273 people.




Seriously. I counted.





Ok... Next category: Drag Queens! Points will be awarded in three categories: Realism, Comic Value and Fashion Selection. /10 for each category, with a further 5 possible points for "Gender Bendery"

Entry #1: Korea "The Fashion Salesman"


Realism: 2/10. I guess if we made him blurry enough, the fact that he has pronounced breast-like cups would make him vaguely identifiable as a woman.

Comic Value: 5/10. Good sense of humour, but he was letting a "business" get in the way of being fabulous. Lack of focus and all that.

Fashion Selection: 8/10. Ok, his clothes are shit, but he technically has the largest fashion "selection" of any of our three contenders. Too bad none of it fit me.

Gender Bendery: 2/5. ho-hum. he's trying to get attention for women's clothes by wearing them, but he did let me fondle his kajungas.

Total: 17/45


Our next contender hails from Japan. Pulling of a mini skirt far more reasonably than 40% of the female population of North America, I have to hand it to "Mi-Kun"


Realism: 9/10. No question here. Dude squeezes himself into a pair of platforms and a mini that would do RuPaul proud. You go "girl".

Comic Value: 7/10. Good sense of humour, and more than willing to learn new words, like "Fabulous". Bonus points for being a salaryman on weekdays.

Fashion Selection: 8/10. Great choices. A girdle, a reasonable wig, and a lot of confidence on a windy day! Good work!

Gender Bendery: 3/5. Good work on the outer identity. Loses points for being straight, but a very mini-wearing straight. Bravo!

27/45 - Good effort!


Our final competitor comes from deep in the heart of Shinjuku. The MC at the local Gay Cabaret!!!





Realism: 1/10. Dude. You've got a goatee, chest hair and a little red dress.

Comic Value: 10/10. Dude. You've got a goatee, chest hair and a little red dress.

Of course, you also point to foreginers and scream "big belly! big belly!" then proceed to dance with them, pretend that your 42" foam cock is aroused by them and then write "for the first time, for the only time, our meeting is very special" on a polaroid. That's comedy if I've ever seen it.

Fashion Selection: 7/10. I have to give points for effort, but pizazz often loses out to a more refined selection. Next time shave the belly hair...

Gender Bendery: 7/5. Once again...Dude. You've got a goatee, chest hair and a little red dress.

Total: 25/45. Great work! But not enough to catch the amazing.... MIKUN!





We're going to have to revisit this topic again soon. It's a really tough call!

Japan Strikes Back!

Apparently, it's time for a sketch-off. A battle of wits, weirdness and well intentioned but less-than-successful language is about to commence. This is a battle the likes of which the world has only seen played out 10858739 times in the world of internet blogging. Well, lady, gentleman and the rest of you crazy kids... I'm about to be number 10858740.

Although I'd been planning to compare and contrast the charms and insanity of Tokyo with those of Seoul, it was a friend of mine who threw the gauntlet and started this battle - without even realizing it, in fact.



Fundamental conflict: Tokyo and Seoul are both very, very crazy. But...which is crazier ???

For example, Tokyo has long dominated the field of crazyness with its neon addiction, cultish devotion to customer service, and "Let's Noun-ing!". They threw out the ringer of serving whale, horse and still breathing fish in the same meal! What city could field culinary insanity to that degree?

Seoul could and did, coming from nowhere with "Hey! How would you like to eat live octopus!?! It'll stick to your tongue and try not to die in your mouth!"


Well, shit.


Don't count Tokyo down yet. Clearly, short of food that tries to argue you out of eating it(coming, I'm sure), there isn't much do to to beat the octopus dish in the freshness department. So... a new tactic.

Changing the Genus.

Genius!

And so, we present the Tokyo-culinary-insanity-answer to live octopus...


Snake Ice Cream!

Trust me, this makes me extra bitter that I'm lactose intolerant. When they get around to making a snake based sherbert, I'll be first in line.


/Special thanks to Vash for sending this my way.

Skewed Perceptions

Every now and again, I find something that explains some small part of Japan.
I made such a discovery recently, when I was riding the train and noticed an advertisement for "The Museum of Western Art". In the guidebook, this had sounded interesting to me, as it seemed to be a different type of cultural flow than I was used to.

Most Westerners are aware of the way that culture flows in from the East. They have seen it in the sushi restaurants of Vancouver, the lack of a fourth floor in new highrises in Toronto, and best of all, on MXC.

After living in Tokyo for a year and talking about global culture with my Japanese students and friends, I have also come to understand the powerful effects of Western Pop Culture on Asian countries. Young guys love to break dance, McDonald's is everywhere, and Jehovah's Witnesses knock at my door regularly.

Still, "The Museum of Western Art" sounded like an interesting way for the Japanese to experience some of the more refined pleasures that have emerged in the West. And by "those pleasures", I mean the rich tradition of painting, sculpture and performance art that flies in the face of the hard-drinking, womanizing, clumsy stereotype that some people hold to.

Right?

Wrong.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the painting they'd chosen to use in their ads...


he
Here's a closeup of the painting. I'm on the left, with the cup.


There I am!


I'm so offended by what is clearly a direct attact on poor innocent foreigners who would NEVER do anything to draw negative attention to themselves.

Tentacles are lower on the food chain than you are

During my recent trip to Korea, I had the pleasure to sample some delicious Korean food...

- Korean Barbeque (which might just be called "Barbeque" here),

- The best Bi-bimba I've ever had. A Bi-bimba is a rice dish made with vegetables, meat and a raw egg. It comes served in a stone bowl that's been heated in the oven, which lets you finish the final bit of cooking (ie the raw egg) in the bowl at the table. It's YUMMY, and looks like this:




- A boat load of kimchi, which is super tasty. The Japanese aren't big fans of spicy food, so I don't get to eat a lot of it. (When they say "EXTREMELY SPICY, VERY DANGEROUS" one can expect "has flavour and a detectable hint of pepper")

- This:



That's right. This is a tentacle from a very recently alive Octopus. So recently alive, in fact, that the tentacles haven't gotten the memo about it. So, they squirm, crawl off the plate and stick to things. For example, your tongue and the roof of your mouth. Very odd.... but very delicous.


/another vid, this one with my running commentary/peer pressuring of another teacher.





Oh, and finally, from the "Things I didn't eat because I had nowhere to cook them, but totally would have eaten if I had been given the chance...." department...



Huge two centimetre long insects! These Grubs looked rather strange, but ... I'll eat just about anything.

In fact... there's something about asserting your place at the top of the food chain that validates all of the hard work done by our distant ancestors. So, I'd like to dedicate this post to Thag, Urg, Kills-with-arrows-and-cooks-with-big-freaking-fire, and all of the good folk that paved the way for our culinary dominance. Way to keep killin'!

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go beat my chest, then pee on my apartment so no one else claims it.