Mind over matter...in your pants!

While shopping in Tokyo's equivalent of Wal-Mart, Donki-hote (As I've written before, a horrible butchery of "Don Quixote"), I came across an item of clothing that seems designed to help a man feel more confident about his, well... member.

...er...more confident about his...you know...confidence...I mean...about his salute! Or his... flag staff.

Yes... down there!

AARGH.

THE SIZE OF HIS PENIS.


Ok... now that we're all on the same wavelength, we can start talking about that underwear. Specifically, a very interesting name for the underwear brand. I'm not sure I want to know the ego-crushing story that led some fellow to come up with this name, but I can only suspect that he was stopped at the gate, so to speak. Perhaps after being turned down right after pulling down his pants, our unknown product-designing hero vowed to never be caught with his pants down while his pants were down again.

So, he surely thought to himself.... how could he help build excitement with the ladies???


Well.... naming your underwear appropriately is a good start.



Bonus points for calling "13" a medium.


Now if only they could put a picture of Shaft on this, these underoos would be unstoppable. And they could use the money to launch a whole line of "Mind over matter" products, like "FULL WALLET" jeans or "ROLLS ROYCE OWNER" shirts.



Best bit of trivia: Despite the name of the product, they didn't bother to use a Black Man to pose for the box.

Skewed Perceptions

Every now and again, I find something that explains some small part of Japan.
I made such a discovery recently, when I was riding the train and noticed an advertisement for "The Museum of Western Art". In the guidebook, this had sounded interesting to me, as it seemed to be a different type of cultural flow than I was used to.

Most Westerners are aware of the way that culture flows in from the East. They have seen it in the sushi restaurants of Vancouver, the lack of a fourth floor in new highrises in Toronto, and best of all, on MXC.

After living in Tokyo for a year and talking about global culture with my Japanese students and friends, I have also come to understand the powerful effects of Western Pop Culture on Asian countries. Young guys love to break dance, McDonald's is everywhere, and Jehovah's Witnesses knock at my door regularly.

Still, "The Museum of Western Art" sounded like an interesting way for the Japanese to experience some of the more refined pleasures that have emerged in the West. And by "those pleasures", I mean the rich tradition of painting, sculpture and performance art that flies in the face of the hard-drinking, womanizing, clumsy stereotype that some people hold to.

Right?

Wrong.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the painting they'd chosen to use in their ads...


he
Here's a closeup of the painting. I'm on the left, with the cup.


There I am!


I'm so offended by what is clearly a direct attact on poor innocent foreigners who would NEVER do anything to draw negative attention to themselves.