Friday, November 17, 2006

Louis Vouschnauser

One of the things that blows my mind like Charlie Sheen amounts of heroin is just how much some Japanese people love their dogs. I don't mean in that healthy, "Poochie is a member of the family" kind of way, but more like that "I love the latest $208372 handbag that looks exactly like the one from 2005 butOMGnewstraps!" way.

Translation: They love their dogs a damn lot.

And by love, I mean "shower with gifts". Doggie booties, doggie jackets...Doggie strollers! How about that. When you walk the dog... the dog doesn't walk, it gets displayed. Or better, Doggie carrying cases, so you can take your dog on the train like any other fashion luggage.

And then, down by the port of Yokohama, sitting on some prime harbourfront real estate, we have this gem.

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That's right.... your first thought might be that this was a trendy coffeehouse...

But alas... it's not even a trendy, pet-friendly coffeehouse. Oh no... if you looked carefully, you've already realized the sheer horror of the truth: this is a doggie glamour photo studio.

You can take your sweet hollywood-bimbo-inspired chia pet excuse for a canine here, and accessorize it until you drop, and then capture the moment on film forever.

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Oh, but what if poochie-woochie is tiredy-wiredy after his weaaly wwonng daaayyy....

Never fear, Madam De Vil! Why, just carry your poor, exhausted, precious pet to our nearby...

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EvolDog Hotel&Rest!

During his stay, your dog will relax one of our lovely Prada Pillows, then down a tasty breakfast assembled by our crack squad of canine South Beach diet experts, and finally be exposed to healthy dose of Gamma Rays to help poochie kick start his trip up the evolutionary ladder in style! We're sure that he'll thank you telepathically in the morning.

Special this week with our "Silver" package: Neuter your boyfriend for half price!
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(Sorry dude... but going in there was a mistake and you know it.)

/Unfortunately, due to a subtle and slight amount of vehement, uncompromising loathing for the practice of pet-sessorizing, I have no photos of any dogs actually being treated to this travesty.

//I'm sure you'll agree that those feelings totally didn't come out in this post.

///Really, I love dogs and I am just angry on their behalf.

////I *suppose* that the people who do this *might* love their dogs too.

/////shut up conscience, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip.

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