A letter:
Dear Mr. Atkins,
We have decided that your diet is not something we want to be a part of. We have heard terrible things about how the diet can cause health problems, and that the weight loss is only temporary. We will be returning all of your self help books, and begin consuming large amount of carbohydrates immediately.
Wait a bloody second. We never needed your diet, since we aren't bloody fat. Why are we even writing this?
Heartily,
The Residents of Japan
What inspired this letter?
This sandwich, which is available at most convenience stores.
That's right folks... it's spaghetti, deep fried potatoes and mayo on a loaf of bread!
And how much is this monster carbo party?
Why... a scant fifty yen.
THE SOUL
A love story:
One of the teachers I know has a whirlwind romance to thank for the fact that he lives in Japan. From what I hear, this charming young gentleman used to work at a hotel in the US. I believe as either a front desk guy, a bellhop or perhaps a fluffer.
One day, a beautiful Japanese girl checked in to the hotel for a week long vacation. During this time, our hero and heroine happened to meet in the hotel lobby. Sparks, dignity and passion flew everywhere and all over everything that week, as I hear she ditched her friends and he ditched a few shifts so they could enjoy each others' company.
Sadly, she had to return to Japan, but promised to return soon to enjoy his charms (both intellectual and carnal).
She did.
And they had another wonderful week together. Maybe it was a month. But it surely seemed like scant days to our lovers. Too soon, she had to return to her home.
Undeterred, our boy mustered the courage to visit. After that, he mustered a bit more and moved here for good. He found a job, and quickly spun through some of the various titles that one can give a partner. Girlfriend, Fiancee, and Wife, in short order. This is no small feat, as cross cultural marriages are sometimes frowned upon by parents here in Japan. Still, he's a nice boy and those two are clearly crazy about each other.
Interesting note: Apparently, the "I want to marry your daughter" bow is a pretty seriously huge one, which involves getting on your knees and bowing until your nose touches the floor. A few times.
Ah, but our story doesn't end here. Oh no. As a wise person once remarked, "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the ba-by carriage."
The challenges of raising a child on a single salary are not to be understated, but it's certainly possible in Japan - perhaps more so than in most industrialized nations. Still, raising a child demands dedicated care and proper stimulus, I am sure that these two fine young people will raise a wonderful family.
Here, you can see their delightful child discovering that milk may indeed be a gateway drug.
Hey! Daddy's pacifiers!
Of course, mom and dad are obviously very proud. Here, you can see their delightful little rug rat learning the proper way to interact at a party for young people.
Step 1: Drink a lot of beer.
Step 2: Act drunk so people think you are cool.
Step 3: (we always forget step 3 before we leave step 2)
Step 4: Poop your pants.
Look how proud mom and dad are in the background! You go kiddo! Amuse all those people with your adult-like behavior!
THE MIND:
A limber student with little shame.
As some dude once remarked... "Mind over Body".
In this case, it's all mind. This guy is a student at a fellow teacher's school, and he wants to be an action movie star. So, if any of you freelance student art film people want to make a martial-arts-and-explosions oriented film, then we should connect you with this chap.
