Sales Pitches

I've got a bit of a background in sales, so I know a good sales pitch when I see one. I sometimes even enjoy them. They're kind of like art, but with the goal of inducing a response from the wallet, rather than from the heart.

Bad sales pitches, on the other hand, can be painful. Very bad ones are sometimes even funny.

For example, the owner of this karaoke box is in love with a woman. Not a specific woman, but a general "you" will suffice. In order to convince you (the woman) that he wants to take tender care of you for the rest of your life, he has chosen "killing" as his 'close'.


If the whole Karaoke master thing doesn't pan out, I'm sure he'll have a great career getting arrested for climbing over celebrities' hedges, microphone in hand.



Here is another sales pitch that is a bit too strong.

This fellow likes eating noodles. He also likes kicking you in the face. Here, he's saving a lot of time.





Of all the strong sales pitches in Japan though, there is one group that has set itself apart from all others. Anyone living in Japan knows that people are exposed to a huge amount of advertising here, but I have to say that only one organization has managed to get me to interact with their salespeople on several occasions.

I'll get to the name of the advertiser soon, but I'm willing to bet you've seen them in action if you've spent any time in this city.

Most astonishingly, they have established that I don't speak Japanese all that well, and they have actually started to send me English materials and brochures. This happened after two of their Customer Service Representatives realized that I had no idea what they were saying, they were content to press some English materials into my hand, thank me for my time and let me be. I thought they'd given up, but in almost no time, two English - speaking reps came to make sure I was ok. Amazing!

Despite not having taken advantage of their offers, they actually manage to put English-only material in my mailbox on a semi regular basis. They also keep coming back to try to "close the deal", as they say.

Ok? Any idea which group is so persistent and hardworking?



Give up?







The Mormons








English 911:

Close: The last thing a salesperson says, usually the final push to encourage someone to buy something. eg, "to close the deal".

hedges: Big plants, usually on the edge of someone's property.

glut: like "gluttony", too much, or a huge amount of something.