Thursday, December 21, 2006

Japanese Cops: Hardcore?



Well... this is a surprisingly good metaphor. You see, the cops in Japan generally exist to give directions to lost citizens. They are courteous, kind, and generally helpful.

That is, until you look at them crosswise. They have ridiculous powers compared to their western counterparts. For example, the cops can hold you for about 21 days in custody without charging you. Oh yeah, and the courts here have about a 99% conviction rate, so if you are charged with something, the courts tend to belive the cops and toss your ass in jail regardless.

I kind of dismissed this as hearsay, until I heard a story from my dear friend Dave. Apparently, one day he was hanging around in downtown Yokohama. Some biker gang was making waaay too much noise and bothering the locals. After about forty minutes of listening to the bikers ciccle the area at an exceedingly high volume, a single cop came out of the station. He was calmly carrying a very large, very black nightstick. When the bikers came by for their next pass, the cop calmly pulled back his five foot steel rod, and cranked one of those poor fuckers in the head as hard as he could. The guy spun off his bike and flew into a crumpled heap at the side of the road. Seeing this, the cop calmly marched back into his station. The bike gang calmly scaped their shattered comrade off the road, and carried him off for what was presumably medical treatment. The cop never came out, and the gange didn't cause any further shit. Clearly the message was "fuck around if you want, but if I start getting complaints, your ass is mine and there isn't a bloody thing you can do about it.

So...uh... don't ride a loud bike...? That's hella scarier than using the force.

No comments: