Thursday, August 10, 2006


This post is proudly presented by the "What the hell were you thinking" department, with special support from the "COME ON!" crew.

My new co-worker, Andy, is a thoughtful gentleman. He certainly appreciates the finer things in life. In the case of Japan, the "finer things" are things which can be horribly misinterpreted.

With this forward, I would like to present my new Shoe Horn. While it is highly functionally useful, I feel that it is a little too umm... anatomically accurate.

So... see for yourself. What's wrong with this picture?

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Where do I start?

How about about the general shape. This is... passable. I understand that a shoehorn has a certain shape that can be - in profile - simmilar to a certain man-related organ.

So.. sketchy at best.

But, then we have the "boots". Come on people. This is a shoehorn with BIG BLACK BALLS. Isn't that enough for the analogy?

Yes. It looks like a cock.

Maybe its a function of the fact that all adult videos are pixelated here (eg, you can have crazy cartoon schoolgirl porno out in the main video section, but it has to be fuzzy when she has sex with the crazy tentacle demon)... so maybe people are unfamiliar with why this might be misinterpreted?

I guess so. I'm a naughty boy, so I instantly make leaps of logic that most people would never consider.

But still... it's shaped like a cock with big black balls!

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Oh... but is that enough? To have a cock shaped shoehorn? No siree, Bob!
Oh no... we have to give it a HAPPY FACE. Just to make sure that you feel good about sticking a plastic cock into your shoes... it can be a happy cock. This is part of the general need to anthopomorphize everything in existance: EVERYTHING gets a face.

Car accident photos: An unhappy train smashing into a sad boulder.
Environmentalism on the train: A train with a face grinning at really really cheerful solar panels with faces.
Learning to poop? Check the video in the post below.

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