Saturday, March 18, 2006

Look Ma! Two Hands!

So, I have a some news to contradict the last post. Apparently, this week, I did drink too much.

But don't worry, I have some madness (not the good kind) to put it all into the proper perspective.

Ok - lets get the awful imagery out of the way!


Image hosting by Photobucket

While I didn't actually drink all of these specific beer glasses (just 3), I did actually empty more than this number the other night during some sort of weekday festivities (I dunno... I think it was called "huzzah! its wednesday!) but man did this pic turn out well.

Last weekend I also managed to hit up some downtown all-night-drinking-party-ness. I ended up following two of my dear chums... (for the purposes of this blog, lets call them "party sensei" and "hungry sensei".) Unfortunately, I can't really nail down specifics, as I think that a few people that live here in Japan actually read this blog now. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Captain Oldhump, among others)... so... I can't say which is which without being johnny gossip.... but its too funny to resist!)

Between them, over the course of one night in Shibuya, I managed to tail Party Sensei and Hungry Sensei, as we/they managed to chase after a number of awesome goals. I'd like to point out that I was actually reprising my role as "drunkscort" from first year, and basically trying to make sure that these cats didn't do anything toooo rash (well, unless it would make a funny story for me...) ANYWAY, Party Sensei and Hungry Sensei managed to accomplish the following with me in tow:

1) gross consumption of booze
2) unsuccessfull wandering of the streets for two hours looking for a ma-sa-geee.
3) bar visitation, disco ball theft and forced removal. This forced removal happened no matter how many sober-esque "tomodachi o sumi mass-en" (friend excuse) "tomodatchi ga drunk desu!" (friend drunk is) and my favourite "tomodachi beeru wa sugoy daiski...a gomenna sai" (friend beer super likes, sorry... so sorry) I managed to throw at the still (very) polite bar staff.
4) rolling down the stairs into a mystery puddle and still managing to be possessed of said disco ball.
5) finding RAMEN!
6) sleeping for 2.56 hours in said ramen shop. Sorry ramen shop people... as three rather boozed (ok... two boozed and one amused) gaijin folk are surely not so good for business.

here are some money shots, including a beautiful kicker of a drink from my past that some of you may or may not recognize as... DIRTY GOODNESS!!!

1) They had the only kind of karoke that doesn't get your butt kicked outside of J-Pan! Freestyle Spoken Word (or, as its known to the masses... shit. what was it.. Wrap or something)

Image hosting by Photobucket

2) The Ressurection of the Dirty Goodness, and the Passion of the Former Unbeliever

Image hosting by Photobucket

3) The Aftermath

Image hosting by Photobucket

Sadly, the disco ball was lost in a fit of pique.

Drunk Sensei: stupid disco ball. and there's pee on me, I think. I don't want this any more [tosses disco ball into a pile of garbage bags]
Brent: Nooooo oooooo My Sideburns and sense of history!!!!

Ah. what a shame....

And just so you manage to put this into perspective... I'd like to point out that we are at least three evolutionary steps above a certain level of drunkeness that is unique to Japan...

Drunken guys in suits

endangering their lives!!!

With an audience!!!

1) The Audience:

Image hosting by Photobucket

2) The Dumbass (being helped by security in the middle of the pic)

Image hosting by Photobucket

3) The Dumbass in Action

Image hosting by Photobucket

now, I have to say.... I was super impressed with the JR (Japan Rail) Staff. They are either super highly trained and heavily drilled in reacting to this sort of flagrant darwin-baiting, or this level of drunken idiocy is more common than I would hope.

I actually watched the whole thing unfold... I saw the guy stumble/slip off the platform, and within seconds there were shouting guards who had sounded an alarm system that bellowed a claxon and lit up a string of red flashing lights all along the station and up the tracks in either direction. Any train coming would have had plenty of notice and stopped well before the station. They were down on the tracks and had him up in about ten seconds.

So, good on them. Every now and again, the uniquely Japanese idea that EVERYONE should take the utmost care and pride in every area of their job/service to the greater population pops up in an amazingly helpful way. Further, I really doubt that this guy is going to see the emotional trauma of the incident as an excuse to sue the train company for building platforms that drunk people could fall off--thereby incuring public shame, humilation and scuffed hands... not to mentiont he fact that he surely swallowed a chicken beak and a finger during his tumble.

No comments: