Gravity, Real Anime, J-Pr0n `57 and OJ . (Yes, Simpson)

part 1

Where do I start! What a day. Ok… this one is going to be two posts.

Part One – Birthday Porno and Yomurinanigans

So, I was rather passive about my birthday the other day. I was content to go out for a few beers with my coworkers and leave it at that. Some of my new buddies, however, would have none of that. So, dear Nick sensei booked us a night at a local Izakaya (kind of like a Japanese pub, but with better food.) and some other fine teachers joined us for a rabble rousing night.

This started off with a very thoughtful present from dear old Nick and his good friend (my good friend now too, I suppose) Atsushi. Showing a surprising amount of insight for having known me less than two years, these two fine gentlemen managed to track down a Japanese porno for me.

This isn’t really remarkable given the amount of sexual literature consumed every day on the train here in Japan… until I tell you that this magazine was printed in 1956. Yes, that’s right, classic Nihongoporn! Your grandfather was whacking off to this back during the 50s! woot!







Unfortunately, much like the other classic porno I received from a very thoughtful young lady (November 1979’s edition of Playboy) it is also full of articles. And while the Playboy boasts four separate ads featuring OJ simpson….



the Japanese porno has the benefit of being…well… even more classic. The Japanese “porno” is actually all cartoons, which is an interesting harbinger of things to come….




The Playboy, however, boasts the fact that the women are all really hot until you realized that you are looking at a woman who has a decent chance of being a grandmother by now.

mmm…miss November… She looks pretty good for being FIFTY!





In any case, it was a grand old time.

The next day, we roused ourselves at the crack of noon, met for lunch and headed for a theme park called Yomuriland-mae. Yomuriland is kind of like Disneyland, circa 1975 with a lot less investment. In short, it is just the sketchy kind of fun that the doctor ordered.

Here are a few of the highlights:

They have bungee jumping. This was made even scarier by the fact that it was designed for Japanese people, and that I was (with pockets empty and every last shred of extra weight shed) only about FOUR kilograms below the absolute maximum capacity of the elastic. Heh. Oooops. How about adding the actual possibility that the elastic is close to snapping to the fact that you are freefalling off a giant tower. Heh. And all for 900 yen! ($9Cdn).

They have an ANCIENT wooden coaster! In fact, each car has a roof bar, because it is built so close together that if you put your hands up, they will get sheared off! Seriously. There are signs everywhere not to put your hands up. This crazy thing shakes like an epileptic with a strobe light whose been stuffed into a blender and put on a small boat in the middle of the pacific.

All the staff bow at you! It’s an integral part of Japanese culture, so instead of waving, they bow. Heh. Tooo cool.

I’ve certainly saved the best for last….

It was ANIME COSTUME DAY! No shit. 50% of the park’s patrons were dressed up in crazy cartoon costumes! It was like being in a Japanese teenager version of Final Fantasy, with a solid bout of Sailor Moon and a side of Nintendo.

Here are some of the better shots.

These girls were extremely happy to see us. Please note the double arm grab onto my elbow from the girl on the right. The smiley one in the dress also managed to nearly break Nick’s hand in the process. I’m sorry to report that poor Takuya (far right) got none.



Here are some of the other gems.






And thats all for now folks... Tune in soon for how the rest of the EVENING went. heh. We're only at about 4 pm... the best is yet to come.